And she will wake up with baby; there but for the grace of God go I

Shortly after I and the post-deployment ex-girlfriend first got together, she "joked" that she'd had a conversation with a friend about how long to wait before "accidentally" getting pregnant to rush the marriage thing.

She blocked me on Facebook after I defriended her in response to some crazy/embarrassing shit she repeatedly posted on my wall, but every once in a while I check her Twitter feed to see how she was doing in the previous 72 hours, as I can't stand to read more than 500 tweets at one sitting.

In December I learned she'd gotten engaged to some dude over Thanksgiving, and this morning I learned that she just recently publicly announced that she's pregnant...to the tune of 15 weeks.

I'm good at math and excellent at jumping to conclusions. To whit: WHOA. CLOSE FUCKING CALL.