I read with every broken heart we should become more adventurous

Tomorrow I attend my first wedding since December of 2008. That one was pretty boring, but the aftermath of my post-wedding dash to Houston to see a girl resulted in some of the most maudlin, self -involved and -pitying blogging this site has ever seen. And yes, thank you, I do realize what a bold claim that is. I did write all of it, you know.

The festivities this time are expected to be very, very far from boring. "Epic" is the most common prediction, for reasons both uninteresting and very much otherwise, but I won't discuss the latter because of who might find this blog some day.

My own personal cross to bear is that the bride-to-be has made several heavy handed motions, reaffirmed tonight, towards setting me up with various someones. This never ends well, although leaving me alone as a free agent often does.

The goal, as always, is to recreate the sublime awesomeness of the summer of 2004 when these two got married in Pennsylvania and my Texas wingman and I conquered the Yankee horde and restored Southern honor through random acts of hilarity, drunkeness, charm, and general debauchery.

The wedding album still contains several compromising photos of me, including my wingman giving a thumbs up to the camera about six inches away from where I sat in the hotel bar sucking face with a friend of the bride. To this day he gives me hell about not sealing the deal, thereby opening her up to being stolen by her lesbian friend who apparently had the same idea but fewer scruples, but given that my new friend clearly didn't remember who I was several hours later I maintain that by doing nothing I did the only proper thing.

Besides, I was harboring a bit of a new (and sober) crush on the bride's sister, an(other) adorable, albeit short, redhead, although that slenderest of hopes died the next day when I advised her father that I looked forward to seeing him again if we got to help "the young one" move in should she come to Houston for med school. He performed a truly hilariously appalled double take, and she went to St. Louis.

The expected level of decorum being so much lower this time, I'm a little afraid of tomorrow.

"More Adventurous," sung by an adorable, albeit short, redhead.